i don't think i ever rushed by the past this fast -that's why i'm back home posting already-. i'm a thinker, i think about everything, i think all day long.
which automatically means i think really slow -atleast about things that really matter, so school etc. rushes by whereas the past, the present & the future linger on-
i must say, this has been one of the craziest days in my life. somehow i dreaded the moment i had to speak up to Valerie and some other way there was nothing i wanted more at that exact same moment.
now i know i'm never going to this again. we both took turns trying to make conversation but this never really worked. our seperate, tiny conversations were shallow and our gazes empty. i don't know what to do, maybe she'll call again, maybe i feel i should, but i definitely know that she's never going to take up a spot in my life again.
there used to be this sort of magic between us, but this is all gone.
so i guess i can draw the conclusion, going away for indefinite time and even indefinite reasons always kills a friendship, nomatter how strong.
maybe i'll miss her now?
ps. i'm sure you do not want to hear about my weird experiences but the truth is, i just had to let it out and now i did... i kind of feel a little better i guess.